A Presidency

August 2004 Keynote address to DNC

November 2004 Elected US Senator from Illinois

January 2005 Assumes Senate seat; immediately begins campaign for Presidency.

January 2005 – November 2008 Senate seat essentially vacant due to “extracurricular activities” of the Senator.

January 2009 Inaugurated President of the United States.

January 2009 – June 2009 Dabbles feet in pool of administration.

June 2009 – present Campaigns for reelection POTUS.

Actual time served on the job during the seven years of the past two jobs he has held: You figure it out.

Career of the Campaigner in Chief

Outrage Wins

Much as I believe the word "outrage" is abused beyond all reasonable bounds these days, I herewith report that Verizon has backed off the $2 payment fee due to the, ah, dissatisfaction of their customers.

Learning Curve

Verizon to charge $2 fee for online payments

Verizon has learned from its banking compatriots who, as I say, never saw a fee they didn't like; and who will never hesitate to invent a new one if all the old ones are used. So now, if you are a Verizon customer who pays on-line, you get to pay a two dollar per use fee for the privilege of paying your bill!

Hoo-Rah!

[Been with AT&T through its Cingular permutation and back again. Be interesting to see their response.]

Ooooh! Boo!

Newscaster says the government is going to start monitoring social networks to further secure our safety and well-being; alerted us that such words as "infectious" and "outbreak" and "collapse" could be trip-wires to direct the monitors to your blogsite, twitter account, or facebook page.

Boogity-boo!

Here's an idea. Let's all create an infectious outbreak of weird posts until the monitoring system collapses. I need to do something to boost traffic on this blog!

Oh, flaw. The posts on this blog are already mostly weird. But innocuous.

Sue Somebody

News clip: "Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s campaign announced Tuesday it will file a lawsuit in an attempt to get on the ballot for Virginia’s Republican presidential primary."

Yet another frivolous suit clogging up the courts.

Shotgun

Gingrich: “I think those for whom the only issue that really matters is the definition of marriage, I won’t get their support. I accept that as reality. On the other hand, for those to whom it’s not the central issue in their life, if they care about job creation, if they care about national security, if they care about a better future for the country at large, then I think I’ll get their support.”

Q: So what if it is the biggest issue?

Gingrich: Then I won’t get their support.

Q: How do we engage if you’re elected. Then what, what does that mean?

Gingrich: Well then you engage in every topic except that.

Q: Except it’s most important (some crosstalk).

Gingrich: Well, if that’s most important to you then you should be for Obama.

Q: I am, thank you (The two men shake hands).

Gingrich: It’s perfectly legitimate. I think it’s perfectly legitimate.

Peace

Christmas Day. Just Spouse and I, a Scrabble game and Christmas music. I feel so liberated! No frenetic activity; no gorging indiscriminately; no hordes of people, squabbling kids, bickering adults. Ah! Peace on Earth, at least on this little patch of it.

Love My Neighbors

Herk said, "The Mizzus and I have been talking about a much-needed vacation. We agreed we needed to get away from it all. Then I came home from work last night and discovered that she had booked a cruise for the two of us.

"I says to her, 'If we were going to get away from it all, why would we go together?' and then it started..."

"Merry Christmas, Herk," I said. "See you later."

Greatest President of All-time,

or possibly second, or third, or fourth.

Man goes to doctor; comes home without shirt.

However this might be taken, in this case it is literal. Removed my shirt in dermatologist's exam room. When ready to leave, put on jacket, forgot shirt. Didn't even realize this until I was home, removed jacket and wondered why it was so chilly in the house.

And I really like that shirt, too. But it's a seventy-mile roundtrip. Oh, well.

AT&T drops bid to acquire T-Mobile

Check. Check.

From One Who Cared More

Since all that I can ever do for thee

is nothing

Then this my prayer must be

That thou mayst never guess

or ever see

The all-endured this nothing done

costs me.

How

do you make an elephant float?

Two scoops of ice cream, carbonated water, and some elephant.

Love

is like an hourglass,

with the heart filling up

as the brain empties. -Renard

Life

a man lives
only so much

as he spins
in the mind

of a woman

Which clearly is to say, I do want to keep me on your mind.

I've Got Some Stuff

Seller on American Pickers: You can't sell memories; you can only sell stuff.

True. Memories are until you lose them. Stuff is convertible- to cash.

Joy to the World!

In the spirit of the season of "peace and goodwill," I won't be offended if you wish me "Happy Holidays!" Please don't be offended when I wish you a "Merry Christmas!" Thank you.

The Lie Every Man Should Tell...

...if he wishes to maintain amity within the home.
"I was wrong."
He should say those words, too, when they are not a lie. "Sorry" wouldn't hurt, either.

Kansas Wisdom

While Mr. Obama was in Kansas yesterday, someone should have reminded him that "fair" is where the 4-H kids go to show their pigs.

Teehee

News reader: President Obama will speak in Ossa-wuh-tom'-ee, Kansas tomorrow.
(That would be Osawatomie, I assume.)
No reason an East-Coast type should know it is Ossa-wah'-ta-mee, but don't they have a gazetteer, or dictionary, or something?

[No reason I should know, either, except that a)I have lived in Kansas; and b)I have a good friend who was from Osawatomie.]

Really?

Trip to Marion, 35 miles.
Light rain; stoplight on 37 at 22. Light turns to green. Hit gas. Whirrrrr! Back off gas.
Big light on dash
LOW TRACTION
Duh. I've been driving sixty years. I need a light to tell me the wheels were spinning.

And people wonder why cars cost a left arm and a right leg.

Verizon Wireless makes major marketing, airwave deal with cable firms

...and for whom is this good news?

Bodes ill for the consumer, I daresay.

Flashback

5:40 P.M. First Saturday in December. Driving through town, stopped for light at Main and Jeff, "Busy Corner." Town in near-darkness, Christmas decorations, such as they are, providing little light. In four blocks through town center, exactly two cars parked.

The flashback: In my mind's eye, I saw this same corner, first Saturday in December forty years ago. It was a hoppin' place. Christmas lights forming an archway crossing the street the entire four blocks I had just driven through! Santa's house ablaze with lighted toys and candy canes on the courthouse lawn. Business establishments, for they did exist, open and doing business with the hundreds of folks downtown, probably ten percent of the town's population of five thousand.

2011. Drab, dull, lifeless, all five thousand inhabitants either home or in some other town?
Progress? Are things better now than they were forty years ago? I think not. And I do not believe that that is nostalgia talking.

The Pot and the Kettle

Mitt Romney lashes out at Gingrich; charges he is a “professional politician.”

Let me get this straight. Romney ran for US Senate in 1994; was President Winter Olympics, 2002; ran for governor of Massachusetts, 2002; served as governor 2003-2007; ran for President of US, 2008; currently campaigning for President of US.

What exactly, Mitt, does it take to earn the designation “professional politician”?

What Do You Think?

My footnote comment on the last post occupied some of my waking hours in the middle of the night. Dad used to say, "The only thing in the newspaper you can believe is Alley Oop."

If he could see what passes for "news" on today's TV I don't know what he'd say; but it would not be complimentary.

It seems to me, and I suppose I could be wrong, that news media, both print and air, have two aims, or missions, if you will. a) to titillate, and b) to indoctinate, not necessarily in that order.

objectivity: word, the meaning of which is totally unknown to "news reporter" types.