Under the Bus

I looked under the bus, and he is right.  Everyone, except you and me, and the guy hollering, "He threw X under the bus," is under the bus.  Oh, wait.  Is that you I see under there, too?

Who Knew?

Obama: Women are not an interest group -- Marshalltown, Iowa Times-Republican, front page headline, April 7, 2012

I cannot speak for the President, but speaking for myself, I respectfully disagree. I have always been interested in women.

President Cannot Be Serious

Say it isn't so:
President Obama offered a firm defense of his health-care law, saying Monday he remains confident that the law will be upheld by the Supreme Court and warning that "unelected" justices should not overturn the will of Congress. --WaPo, 4-2-12 (Emphasis added.)

Few days ago Bob was critical of "liberal" pundits, suggesting that they needed some lessons in civics. Now, oh, my stars and garters, the President needs to be spanked and sent back to school.

It probably is too late to ask, But what is the country coming to?

Update: Judge Jerry Smith of the 5th Circuit is "troubled" by this. He got it exactly right, and we should all be troubled. April 4

Better Lucky than Good

Captain of the Concordia: I did not abandon ship; I fell into the lifeboat when she capsized.

I laughed maniacally when I heard this. That's not right. Laughing, I mean.

Still and all, he did not stay with his ship. Serendipity can be cruel.

ZTR, I Hope

The accented English of Deep South Texas is not unpleasant to the ear. It is quite easily understood, and yet there are certain quirks that evoke images not intended by the speaker. For example, there is a car dealership that runs ads on TV touting its service department. The gentleman tells us that when you bring your veekle in for service, they will "put you in a lawner, and you can be on your way."

On your way, in my mind's eye, to mow your lawn.

Why's a White Duck?

Learning Curve

Verizon to charge $2 fee for online payments

Verizon has learned from its banking compatriots who, as I say, never saw a fee they didn't like; and who will never hesitate to invent a new one if all the old ones are used. So now, if you are a Verizon customer who pays on-line, you get to pay a two dollar per use fee for the privilege of paying your bill!

Hoo-Rah!

[Been with AT&T through its Cingular permutation and back again. Be interesting to see their response.]

Shotgun

Gingrich: “I think those for whom the only issue that really matters is the definition of marriage, I won’t get their support. I accept that as reality. On the other hand, for those to whom it’s not the central issue in their life, if they care about job creation, if they care about national security, if they care about a better future for the country at large, then I think I’ll get their support.”

Q: So what if it is the biggest issue?

Gingrich: Then I won’t get their support.

Q: How do we engage if you’re elected. Then what, what does that mean?

Gingrich: Well then you engage in every topic except that.

Q: Except it’s most important (some crosstalk).

Gingrich: Well, if that’s most important to you then you should be for Obama.

Q: I am, thank you (The two men shake hands).

Gingrich: It’s perfectly legitimate. I think it’s perfectly legitimate.

Greatest President of All-time,

or possibly second, or third, or fourth.

I Di'n't Say That

Bagger: Paper or plastic?

Guy in front of me: Surprise me. I'm bisacksual.

Pushed His Buttons

TV news clip shows man, incensed because he received an email addressed to "Resident Idiot" purportedly from a prestigious university.

An appropriate and intelligent response would be to laugh and delete the message. He, on the other hand, enraged, called the news crews, thereby proving the sender of the message to be correct.

Tip: Catch those media types on a slow news day. Fifteen seconds of notoriety.

A Bridge Too Far

Your car is a rolling wifi hotspot!

Toyota: Internet while you drive!

Axiom One: You can't stop progress.
Axiom Two: You can't fix stupid.

Dozed off the Colts were leading 24-14. But they managed to wrest defeat from the beast of victory once again.

Kids Messing With Buddy's Mind

"Four score and seven years ago, I kissed Emily Costa," said the kid portraying Lincoln.
Last time I attempted to act in a play, I did just as well. I was terrified and would have said anything to get off stage. And likely did. I don't remember.
--Bob Warr

Spongebob Squeezed Dry

Study suggests that watching just nine minutes of "Spongebob Squarepants" can cause short term attention and learning problems in four-year olds.*--News article

If the kid isn't watching this because he's stupid, not to worry, it will make him stupid.

*Have to wonder what the "researchers" have been watching.

Also,

Why is it that I know the phone numbers of Empire Flooring and Ken Nunn, atty at law*, but I don't know my own cell number?

*Neither of whom I have ever called.

Campers' Club

Old people leave their comfortable homes to drive a hundred miles each way in their 35 foot RVs to park within fifty yards of each other and play cards on a picnic table for three days. What?

70

Earthquake

The earthquake in the DC area this week prompted the President to inform us that the epicenter was along the previously little-known Bush's Fault.

Someone else claimed that it was the result of the early statesmen of our country rolling over in their graves.

Und so weiter.

Ogden Nash

Why did the Lord give us agility,
If not to evade responsibility?
--Ogden Nash, American poet,
August 19, 1902 - May 19, 1971

Curses!

School starts today in the hometown. The state has decreed that "cursive writing" is no longer required to be taught in schools. I suppose that at some point in the past it was decreed that cuneiform would no longer be taught; and look where that got us.

About Herkimer's Past

Herk told me that when he was in high school he took his Dad's current wife, Lyla, to the prom.

"Well," he said, "she wasn't Dad's wife then. She was just Ly. She sat in front of me in social studies class."