(All of this after he left us standing beside the road in ninety degree heat for twenty minutes while he sat in his air conditioned cruiser and did what ever he did, which included writing me up.)
Me: We've been coming to Rockport every winter for years. We spend six weeks here, pay our rent, buy our groceries and pay our utilities. Much as we like Rockport, this may have to be our last year here.
Cop: That's your prerogative.* (Oh, wow, Johnny^ is a college graduate!)
Spouse (to me): Just doing his job? All he has to do is harass old people?
Extraneous irrelevancies: He kept talking about "We can't have fifteen-year olds running around on these." Do I look 15? "That's a license plate holder; it's where the plate goes." Duh. "Golf carts are legal if they are licensed." Does this look like a golf cart? "This is Texas." Repeatedly. Wow, thanks. We've been here for twelve straight weeks and had no idea. And, "I'm just doing my job." Which is what provoked the spouse to the above comment.
Not an April Fool Joke.
*Rockport-Fulton Chamber of Commerce, take note.
^Spouse designated him "Picklehead" which I thought a little excessive. But I like it.