Tipoff

I’m Burl Snarkley

And I’m Brat Grumble, and we are here in the Cathedral to Sports built by the taxpayers for the amusement of the One Percent.

That’s right Brat, and we are thrilled tonight to have the Final Four.

Surely you jest, Burl.  You well know that this mania will continue into Eternity.

Of course.  But this is the big Championship Game.  At the end of the day, there will be a winner and a loser.

Not quite, Burl.  At this level, there are no losers.  Everyone is a champion!

Ri i i g h t, Brat.  You say.  And now down to the floor to Hanna Hurricane and Cook Cereal.

Thanks, Burl.  What do you think of tonight’s game, Cook?

Well, Hanna, it so much reminds me of that season of seventy-six. 

(Cook continues blathering for some time, then) Run on over and bother the coach of the Red team, would you Hanna?

Sure!  (Followed by Hanna bothering the coach)  Now, back to you, Burl and Brat, for the introduction of the teams.

Wide bodies

                    Display of athleticism

Take the floor                                    physicality                            Remember the center in 69?

                Back in the day                        had a double double                must seize the opportunity

execute                    he lights it up!                             a true freshman                        goes to the bench

             ramped up defense                    struggled at the line         a little hi-lo            off the glass

in the paint         the sweet spot will be there all game         Bobo is out of Rancho Cuckoo       

Halftime: much blathering by Burl, and Brat, and Cook.  And Hanna, bothering the coaches.

The battle royal is about to resume, Brat.

Yes!  The Red clads take the tip, and

must get it into the paint                draw fouls                Fires the three!                Knocked it down!

                    elevate                using his size            a true scholar athlete, carries a 3 point nine eight

in transition            couldn’t knock it in                Down to the wire!

AND THERE’LL BE A BARN BURNING IN HOOPLAND TONIGHT!