Shenanigans

"The Justice Department has declared that Attorney General Eric Holder’s decision to withhold information about a bungled gun-tracking operation from Congress does not constitute a crime and he won’t be prosecuted for contempt of Congress. The attorney general oversees the Justice Department."  --WaPo, 29 June 2012

The AG declines to prosecute himself?  Are you kidding me?

Ehh, warmish.

3:07 P. M. and two hours of heating time yet to go, and the south wind to stoke it.

Consolation:  Misery loves company, and I guess we have company all across the country.

C'est Plus...

Excerpt from "The Foreign Policy of  Company 99" by O. Henry.

This was written over a century ago.  The more things change, the

more they stay the same.

Jeffries is James J. Jeffries, noted boxer of the day.

No Comment Required

How Far, How Fast?

The President express his disappointment with the wrong-headedness of the Supreme Court, will direct Federal officials to ignore enforcement of the law.

Perhaps it should be no surprise that our president is a scofflaw.  We have become a nation of scofflaws.  Yet somehow this seems to be something other than a case of driving 72 in a 65 zone.

Peanut Butter Cookies

Herkimer walked into the garage just as the belt sander wound down.

Herk said, I baked peanut butter cookies last night, cleaned up in the kitchen and everything. Cookies were good, too.

Where are mine? I asked.

Tildy told me, Herk continued as though I had said nothing, "They're not as good as mine." What's with that? Didn't stop her from eating four of 'em before she went to bed.

Herk, I said, it's an all around win for Tildy, and you win, too, if you just eat cookies and keep quiet. And agree with her; maybe she'll bake next time!

Herk offered me his recipe. Thanks, I said. You used the one on the Jif jar, didn't you?

Home Alone

I placed Mrs. Warr's overnight bag in the car, turned and kissed her goodbye.  She was on her way to spend a couple of days with her daughter a couple hours away.

Two hours later, phone rings.  "Hi, Honey.  Just wanted to tell you I got here okay!"

Kissing is pleasant, but that is love.

(No smart-aleck comments today.)

The Hirsute Manly Man

What is it that makes facial hair fair game? You be clean shaven, or I be ravin’.

In the sartorial realm, mostly if we don’t care for someone’s hairdo or clothing selection, we smile and say nothing. If we really like something, we may pass along a compliment, unless of course we are a “dirty old man” and the recipient of the compliment is a nit twit who thinks everything is harassment.

 But we don’t pass along our distaste for another’s taste. Again, unless of course, the man is bearded, mustachioed, or side-burned. Then you are entitled to express your opinion, no matter how uncomplimentary or derogatory. Thank you very much.

 “You need to trim that beard.” Probably meaning, “Shave it off.”

“I hate handlebar moustaches.” Meaning, “That’s the ugliest thing I ever saw.”
“You are wearing a Fu Manchu? What’s that all about?” Meaning, “That’s the ugliest thing I ever saw.”
"Sideburns? Who are you, Elvis? or are you fighting the Civil War all over again?” Meaning, “Shave it off.”
“A van Dyke?”  Looks like the devil.” Meaning, “You look like the devil.”

 Ladies, scrape your face every day for a half-century or more, or cut us some slack. Every square inch we don’t have to shave is a square inch of relief from agony.

Okay

Mrs. W. (watching a guy on TV back a car in a narrow alley):  I wish I could back like that.

Bob:  You do tend to wander off the drive.  Use your mirrors!

Mrs:  I do; but they don't tell the truth.

Bob:  Well, then, take it VERY slow.

Did ---

You did so.
No, I didn't.
Did too.
Did not.
Yes, you did.
I didn't say that.
Did so.
Did not.
Good night, John Boy.
Good night, Mary Ellen.

Democracy

I despair of the belief that we are capable of selecting our leaders by the electoral process.

Now, what brought that on?

I can't tell you how many times I have heard "He's not in touch with the people," or "He doesn't know how the average Joe lives," or "He lives in another world."  So let me get this straight.  What you want is an "average Joe" as your leader.

Average Joe has an IQ of 100 (by definition).  He has never earned more than $50 grand a year.  AJ, again on average, is a high school graduate, with perhaps a thirteenth year, either in a tech school or a freshman year in a community college.  He has never managed a Kool-Aid stand, much less a business with more than one other employee.  Yet this is what you want for the leadership of the free world?

So we rule out all the rich people, all the smart people, all the people who have actually run something other than the tires off their Chevrolet.

So we should have Joe, or Jolene.

Went to the Box

to get the mail. 
Nothing but a People magazine, which is to say, nothing.
This is a subscription we are comped, and it is worth every penny we pay for it.  And not a penny more.

Eating is Hazardous to Your Health

News flash! (Moments ago on the noon news.)  Your peanut butter may contain a flame retardant H-C-something-something.

So?  I don't want my PB spontaneously combusting in the pantry.  Thanks, Jif, for protecting my property.