Monday, October 31, 2011

Sports Report

Goldilocks and the Colts are now nil-eight.

Someone said there was a World Series. Does anyone know who won? Does anyone know who the opponent was?

Vaguely recall that "World Series" might have something to do with baseball.

Happy Halloween. Don't take any candy apples. (Yes, life was better before there were so many sickos.)

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Church Growth

I was talking to the Spouse about an article on church growth in today's society. She said,

It's a tough time to build up a church, trying to reach "heatherns"(sic) because they won't listen. It's not like the days when people were a lot more gullible and didn't have anything to do, so when a revival or a carnival would come to town it was an event. They'd go to a revival to listen to a hell-fire preacher and maybe be convicted and get saved.

So I got to thinking. "Sophistication" and a plethora of choices for entertainment might indeed be a couple of factors impeding the growth of the church. But people need the Message just as much as they ever did.

Saturday, October 29, 2011


Herkimer came in while I was sharpening my axe, sparks flying off the grindstone. I shut it off, and as the motor wound down, Herk said,

I told Tildy I was thinking about new diamond earrings for her birthday, but she has such a sparkling personality that giving her jewelry would be like sending coal to Newcastle. I thought she'd be flattered. There is a difference between "sparkling" and "sparks flying."

Thursday, October 27, 2011

The Great Experiment

Superintendent of Schools, large district, explaining the difficulty of managing a public school system said, We have to take everyone, the blind, the crippled, and the crazy.

There has been outrage expressed.

True, it may not have been a "sensitive" thing to say, but it is the truth.

Some people don't want the truth.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Caffeinate Me

Old people's social bash last night.1
Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's brew.2

I've not been terribly concerned about "global warming." Not, that is, until I read that it may ultimately be the cause of coffee going extinct. *gasp* Oh, wait. Even if so, I'd have to live to be 396 years of age to see that happen.

1"night" = 6:30 - 8:30
2Not original with me, but true, nevertheless.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

OWS Update

Chicago: Oers angry with Mayor Emanuel and city police for arresting demonstrators.1
"I mean, all we were doing was breaking the law, ya know?"

Seattle: Protester carrying sign

"College loan repayment--
Indentured servitude."2

"I mean, you owe it to me, ya know?"

Uh, yeah. We know.
1WGN-TV Chicago, 10/24/11
2Any left-of-center press recently, e.g., Huffington Post.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Woodstock on Wall Street

continues. Guess not yet enough snow and ice.

And yet disaffected people can do unseemly things in public for only so long.

Pushed His Buttons

TV news clip shows man, incensed because he received an email addressed to "Resident Idiot" purportedly from a prestigious university.

An appropriate and intelligent response would be to laugh and delete the message. He, on the other hand, enraged, called the news crews, thereby proving the sender of the message to be correct.

Tip: Catch those media types on a slow news day. Fifteen seconds of notoriety.

Saturday, October 22, 2011


Herk just wandered into the garage. I glanced up and noted that he looked pretty dejected.

"What's happening, Herk?" Though I should have known better than to ask.

"I just don't know where I've gone wrong. I try so hard to make that woman happy. She just told me, 'Herkimer, the budget is in a bit of a crunch, so I think you should take a staycation this winter while my sister and I take a Caribbean cruise.'"

Friday, October 21, 2011


Printed this out in poster format. I am going to slip it to Tildy so she can hang it in her kitchen. For Herk's good, doncha know?

Disclaimer: I just copied this. I know that "woman" is not spelled with an "e". --Bob

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Bob Barker

what do you know about animal capture? Ninny.

"Here, Kitty, Kitty. Come on down!"

Libya: What Next?

I: Did you hear that Khaddafi was killed?

Spouse: Oh, good.

I: Why would you say that? We are supposed to mourn when people die.

Spouse: He was evil; he killed hundreds of people. An eye for an eye. He didn't have enough eyes, so they killed his whole body.


It is quite clear that the internet server gives its quality bandwidths to "premium" customers during rush hours. The rest of us (dummies) get to travel down the back alleys, dodging garbage cans, dumpsters, and stray cats, hoping to arrive sometime this morning at the selected destination. What do you get when you pay a hundred twenty bucks a month for cable connection? Robbed.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Politics in the Home

She said, Why doesn't that Ging Newtrich just give it up?

I am "bwahahahaha" busting a gut.

Well, she said, my tongue got all tangled up.

Sounded to me like her tang was tonguelled.

Then ensued a serious discussion as to why GN should never be anyone's nominee.
Nor should Rott Mimney.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

All Equal in God's Sight, But on a Human Scale...

it seems about an even trade to me. I just read that the Israelis traded 1027 prisoners to Hamas for one Israeli citizen.

Another Hour for Reading

No point watching House since Lisa Edelstein has moved on.

And we did Cheers and Becker. Enough Ted Danson; so goodbye, CSI.

Monday, October 17, 2011

No Kidding

"We have wonderful, healthy foods if people want to buy them. But they don't sell particularly well." --Andy Puzder, CEO of CKE Restaurants (Hardees, Carl's Jr.)

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Then the Benediction

"Every head is bowed and every eye is closed."

How does the preacher know that? He has faith in the power of suggestion, whereas I have faith in human nature. I'd like to bet him five bucks on that.

And no, it won't be me looking around. I'm a good little sheep.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Correct, But Wrong

Tildy exclaimed, "I lose another twenty pounds I'll be a hot chick!"

To which Herk replied, "You'll be a smaller old hen, but you'll never be a chick again."

That man just never learns.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Symphony in My Head

Are there cicadas in that tree? (meaning the one to my right.)

She: I don't hear anything.

I: I think October is way too late for cicadas.

She: Poor Baby. It's no wonder you're grouchy.

I: I'm not grouchy.

She: No, you've not been today. But then I was asleep all afternoon.

I: What does that tell you?

I have tinnitus, have had for many years. It's presentations seem to be getting more bizarre.
Cicadas to the right-- constant, warbling buzz. Crickets to the left-- chirk. chirk. chirk.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

You Have To Be...

...of a certain age to get this.

There is yet work to be done.
The desire to do it is strong.
The vision of the finished project is clear.

The energy to do it doesn't exist.

(Snore softly if you "get" this.)

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Playing With a Full Deck

I: The presidential primary field is set, so they say. And I was hoping a Knight in Shining Armor would emerge from the herd and rescue us from ourselves. Guess it's not going to happen.

Spouse: Or a Princess.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Rain and Frost Will Cool Them

What started out as shenanigans by dopey college students and superannuated hippies is being coopted by the labor unions and the far-left progressive politicians who see gains to be made by support of a "populist movement."

So long as it is not a tea party.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

A Bridge Too Far

Your car is a rolling wifi hotspot!

Toyota: Internet while you drive!

Axiom One: You can't stop progress.
Axiom Two: You can't fix stupid.

Dozed off the Colts were leading 24-14. But they managed to wrest defeat from the beast of victory once again.

Friday, October 7, 2011

TV. You've Got To Be Kidding!

Thursday used to be a TV night, but with the advent of the new season, we find that every dramatic or comedic program now offered is written by male 13-year old seventh graders.

This actually drove me to HGTV which was offering a program called "Selling New York." Inside nine minutes, I was literally in hate with every person portrayed. Who are these twits? Nevermind. I don't give a crap.

Thank God for boardgames.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Mind Like a Sieve

I just composed a three-sentence post in my mind. Create-page load + two minute distraction, and I have completely forgotten it. It was a really great idea, too!

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Investment Portfolio

“Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal.
Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal." --Jesus

Saturday, October 1, 2011


I was in the middle of reassembling an engine and encountering the tiniest bit of frustration with it when Herkimer walked into the garage. He started talking to me, apropos of nothing, as is his wont.

Presently I heard him say, "The key to a happy marriage is the one that starts the car when I need to get away from her for a while."

"I thought your path to happiness," I said, "was the one from your kitchen door to my garage, seeing you are here whenever I am."

"Haha," laughed Herk. "You are a riot, Bob."